Archive for May, 2009

Back to Work

Is what I is.

I always assumed that I would be a working mom. I didn’t want to ‘waste’ my education – I spent a lot of time deciding what to get a degree in, even more time getting that degree. Also, I really like getting paid money on a regular basis. I’ve largely ignored the debate of ‘having it all’ – I didn’t think I could have it all but I figured that as long as I could find good child care for my sweet, sweet progeny I would happily go to work knowing that this was my sacrifice for providing my children with the things that money could buy as well as being a positive role model as an educated, working woman. I really thought I had it all planned out.

Boy was I wrong. I want to stay home.

I always thought that staying at home with your children was a luxury, often chosen by moms who didn’t much care for their careers/jobs in the firs tplace. Lest I am skewered by stay at home moms who have sacrificed much to do what they do, let me say that I never really thought too hard on the matter and I never passed any sort of judgement. I didn’t count on the fact that 1) raising a baby is hard work and 2) raising a baby is really intersting, fun and far more rewarding than anything I’ve ever done for money. Every day I watch this little being develop her motor skills. She has started putting things in her mouth, a small thing but representative of a complex series of skills that show me her brain is growing. The other night watching me wash my face provoked the first real laughter I have heard from her (why? I don’t know.). I’m addicted. I don’t want to miss any of this. I want to stay at home.

So now Chad and I are discussing what it would take for me to not work or work only part time. Scary stuff to consider in this economy but since Chad’s a nurse he has a lot of options open to him. At this point its not so much a discussion of ‘if’ as a discussion of ‘how’. I’m thinking of ways to try to channel my silliness into something that can be done from home that pays.  Can I sell mail order silliness? Would any of you buy mail order silliness? Too bad there isn’t a paying market for silly pictures of cats because I have a crap ton of those.

ETA: About moms who choose to stay at home – I feel I want to further explain what I thought about this choice more for my own thought process than anything else. I think I gave it short shrift earlier and I guess if I’m going to have a record of my thoughts, it might as well be accurate. I’ve always known that some moms chose to stay home because that’s what they really want to do – it is meaningful and rewarding and it was their choice, not just some second hand plan because work wasn’t what they thought it would be. I think I felt that if I stayed home it would be because I dind’t like what I was doing. I also always assumed that my mom went right back to work after having my brother and I and that wasn’t true. So the whole point of this is that what I thought before isn’t what I think now. So. There it is.

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Today I send wishes and hope to every woman out there  who is trying to find  her Mother’s Day. May your path to motherhood unfold before you, carrying you to your heart’s desire.

On my first Mother’s Day I want to say how much I love my mother and how much I love my daughter. I love you both more than you’ll ever know.

The Grand and the Baby (picture by Mike (Papa) Skirvin)

The Grand and the Baby (picture by Mike (Papa) Skirvin)

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Oh, cat butts!

I’m wondering when I need to stop using bad language around the B.A.B.Y. At this point I haven’t curtailed my cursing but I’m sure that I will need to before she starts talking. I’ve been thinking about taking up pseudo-cursing (like “what the french, toast?!” from the orbit gum commercials). Anybody have any good pseudo curses I can use?

In other news, so…work, huh? I’ve gotta go back there? Really? Even beyond not wanting to spend any time away from Sweet Pooty (GM’s latest nickname) I have really gotten used to not working. I keep thinking of things to do with the girl and then realize that crap-diddley-doo, I have to work the next day. I really liked not working. Who would’ve thunk it? Thunk. That’s a funny word.

You know what’s hard? Typing with a cat on your hands.

Here’s Sweet Pooty. At 9 weeks she is 13 lbs 9 oz and 24.25 inches. I am proud of this as if it has anything to do with me.

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