Archive for the ‘Right On Reviews’ Category

Howard the Duck

I just wanted to remind everyone of that movie. Howard the Duck. Just think on that.

 It was brought to my attention today that I haven’t posted in a good long while so I thought I’d drop in and say hi. I’ve been worrying a lot about various things lately and, as I do, have been napping a lot as a way to avoid thinking about any of it. Its a very restful avoidance mechanism. But I’m working on kicking that worry to the proverbial curb.

I want to weigh in on this Armed and Famous celebrity/cop thing. I think it might be good. I mean, its probably totally just creative editing but the commercials make it look like these celebrities might be getting something out of the whole thing. The five minutes that I have watched showed LaToya Jackson actually doing a decent job. Could it be that she is good for something besides letting really bad plastic surgeons practice on her?

That’s about as deep as this lady is getting.

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As some of you may know, Chad and I are trying to have a baby. In a very generous and kind gesture, a friend of ours who recently had a baby, gave us a huge bag of things she hadn’t used before she got pregnant: ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, and several books. One of the goodies in the bag was a newfangled digital pregnancy test, a test that does not require the highly skilled ability to count how many lines you see. Instead of showing lines, the test gives you a digital reading that says either “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant”. And can I tell you? I hate the digital test. With a regular pregnancy test, you have a lot of room for interpretation. Not really, but at least once you’ve seen that the test only has one line, you can stare at the stick for ten straight minutes and convince yourself that maybe just maybe that is not a shadow from your hand, that is in fact a second line. And after ten minutes you feel a little silly and you admit to yourself that the test is negative and you throw it away. This is a slow let-down. This is a doctor who tells you your loved one is critical, but if you have enough faith, miracles are always possible. This is Coming To Terms with a negative pregnancy test in a way that suits me best: slowly and with a lot of second guessing.

A digital test allows for no such wishy-washiness. You pee on the thing and within moments it says “NOT PREGNANT”.

You’re not used to such decisiveness.”Well, lets give it a few sec-”


“Seriously, the other tests and I do it this way – we hang out and see what happens and – “.


Know it all bastard.

You just can’t argue with the thing. And then you have to eject the little strip you peed on and put it all away, whereas with a normal lines test, you can pull it out of the trash the next morning to see if maybe 24 hours in the trash was all the test needed to realize that it was horribly wrong, it apologizes, you ARE pregnant.

I don’t see the world in black and white, and I don’t want my pregnancy test to either.

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If you go to http://www.live365.com and search for Muppets you can listen to a radio station that is nothing but Muppet Show songs.

I give you my review: it is super cool.

With all of the different musical guests that the Muppet Show has had, you are guaranteed a wider range of artists and song types than even the super-best internet based radio station that claims to be able to read your mind and give you only songs that you really want to hear can give you. Which never works anyway. Because what you really want to do is listen to whole albums of particular artists and they just wont do that for you. And when I say you I mean me. And when I say they I mean them.

But the Muppet Show! I’ve listened all day and I haven’t heard one repeated song and I keep breaking out in funky-desk-dance (I’m at work – crap! I’ve incriminated myself!).

Hey, guess what? I had a pap this morning. It was great. My last pap was under the watchful eye of my doctor, her nurse, and two training nurses so having it just me and the doctor was nice and not performance-anxiety inducing. Last year I even said, “I hope my vagina is keeping you all entertained down there”. Plus I got my cholesterol checked. Cholesterol=eh, okay. Triglycerides = hmmm when will I have my first heart attack? They’re not that bad but it kind of sucks to have it affirmed that being overweight and eating lots of ice cream really does screw up your health. I was hoping that was just an unfounded rumor.

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Welcome to the Monkey-Dome. This blog is my chance to comment on the world at large, specifically about things like oh say pooping and what the dogs did yesterday that was so funny. Good stuff that I hope you’ll enjoy. I also hope to do the occassional odd review of something that I think is just so cool that the whole world should know about it. I have a few in the works, one for a band called The Cat Empire that is amazing at taking a regular old day and making it so super fabulous that I think the government should build gigantic speakers up and down every city street and play it all the time. It might just end hunger and bring about world peace.

 So let’s do this thing.


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