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Eight years. How’s that for a hiatus?

Sleep Like a Baby

The thing I hate the most about parenting is baby sleep.

I know, I HATE something about parenting? But seriously. We all HATE something about parenting, even if we don’t know it.

You have to protect it. Make it a priority. Keep an eye out for signs of sleepiness (while you’re keeping an eye out for safety hazards and poking the dog in the eye – the baby/toddler not me). And every little thing hangs on getting that baby to nap. But the baby doesn’t want to nap or doesn’t want to nap long enough. And when she cries you think “look toots, you had your chance for a nap” but your tension level rises a little (a lot) because you’re faced with the questions in your head “do I put her down again? do we power through? should we go for a walk to see if she sleeps? a drive? a beer?”.

If you have more than one kid it suddenly becomes a dance, one that you’ll probably never be very good at, to get the basics of life taken care of, to give the kids enough attention and to FREAKING GET THEM TO SLEEP. Oh and maybe a little time for you, too.

I want to lighten up, you know? I don’t want this to baby sleep thing to be everything and I have this idea that everyone else has it down so pat that no one will even understand what I’m saying here.

Any suggestions for lightening up?

When the whole world fills with snot and sore throats and sleepless nights its hard to surface enough to write a blog post. Or to think or to run.

I did try to run. I ran the day after I started doing the 30 Day Shred workouts and all I can say is that shred isn’t too far off the mark in terms of how you feel the next day. It isn’t that motivation to run is lacking, rather its motivation to carve out the time to run that is the problem. Its too easy to say that today is too busy, too hard, too uncertain. It isn’t the physical exertion that I am avoiding, its actually taking the time to myself that I am avoiding. A bit of mommy martyr going on, I think.

But I did do my first adventure race – the Carmel Amazing Adventure through Planet Adventure Racing. I’m going to try to gather some photos of the event and do a post all its own. I raced with my dad and it was a lot of fun.

So that’s my story.

Last week’s Zoom got a little wordy. I’m going to try to cut it down to size and keep it more about the run. It’s all about the run.

Goals: 4 runs, total miles-1o

Tuesday: 2.7 miles on the TREADMILL (dum dum dum). I have avoided the treadmill so far but it was so dang hot outside. It wasn’t too bad. I felt really dizzy when I got off (ear issues? Elevator’s do the same thing to me). But it was a good run. I averaged 4.5 miles per hour but got up to 5 mph for a good chunk of time, too. On Friday I want to do a 4 mile run and will do it on the treadmill if it continues to be Too Freaking Hot.

Will update as the drama unfolds!

This post is part of Calliope’s Summer Camp.

Day 7– What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Do you read food blogs or would you ever consider writing one?

Oh, man. Food. I love food. It is so good when you eat it.

I haven’t had breakfast today so I’m going to wax especially poetic on this one.

Breakfast – pancakes. Fluffy, delicious pancakes with melted butter and syrup. Obviously, buttermilk pancakes everyday are horrible for your arteries so I make Honey Bran (or Flax) pancakes that use whole wheat flour and honey instead of sugar. They get a little fluff from some baking soda and they are actually quite delicious. I also use canola oil instead of butter to help with the fats.

Lunch – Lunch is just lunch. I like a good sandwich but it isn’t a meal I put a lot of thought in to.

Dinner – Have I mentioned that I love pizza? I do. I’m working on perfecting my own dough so that pizza can be 1)cheaper and 2)healthier than ordering out all the time. G is my partner in pizza crime because she loves it, too, and will always agree with me when I say we should make pizza for dinner. Its good to have a two year old in your corner.

I read food blogs off and on. The only one I read with any regularity is the Barefoot Kitchen Witch. I’ve used several of her recipes and I think she just seems like fun. I used to read Julia’s (of Here Be Hippogriff’s) but I don’t think she’s still posting recipes.

I don’t think I could ever write a food blog unless it was to be about how much cooking stresses me out. I’m either worried that it won’t be good or that it will take too long or that I will have to chop too many vegetables (I do not like chopping. Or mincing. I hate mincing – it’s just extra chopping.). I am also somewhat notorious for not reading a recipe in its entirety before I begin to cook. This means that I often don’t give myself enough time or I find that I don’t have a piece of equipment necessary for the recipe. In order to combat this stress I’m trying to perfect a few dishes (read: pancakes and pizza).

I am so hungry right now, people.

This post is part of Calliope’s summer camp.

Day 4: What has most surprised you about being an adult? What have you learned about yourself through blogging?

My eye is twitching like crazy right now. I hate typing on a netbook.

The thing that has surprised me the most about being an adult is my seemingly endless capacity to make mistakes. I’ve read today’s post for several of the other campers and I agree that I thought adulthood meant eating what I want to eat, wearing what I want to wear, living where I want to live. You know, capital F freedom. But at the core of it all, I thought I was right. I thought I was always right. I thought that what I wanted to eat, wear or where to live were easy questions with right answers and that I would move unerringly into adulthood.

I was wrong.

I think life is ultimately about change and changing circumstances mean that choices are hard and consequences may be even harder. And it is easy, nay expected, to make mistakes. I am not right, and probably rarely am.

But that’s okay, you know? I’m rarely right and neither are you. Its not the end of the world. Most mistakes don’t ruin us unless we let them. I haven’t blogged long enough, consistently enough to be able to say blogging has taught me X, but I think this is what I want from blogging. Putting it ‘out there’, airing my mistakes may be a sort of personal forgiveness. A way to say to myself, “Self, you are not alone as you stumble.”

 And if you feel alone, just know that I am stumbling here in the dark right beside you.

Me, Today

I am not blogging anonymously. Not that I mind if anyone else does, but after a lot of thought I decided that I want this blog to be about connections and if I want to connect it will be easier if I am just me from the get go. And in order to really be me, I thought it would be an interesting exercise to say “and this is what I look like day to day” – no frills (unless its a frilly day) and probably no makeup and probably weird hair. So here goes…

This post is part of Calliope’s Summer Camp.

Guilty Pleasures. With caps, because if you’re going to feel bad about it, it might as well be big, yes? Of course that isn’t how it always plays out – why do we feel guilty about little things (see #4 below)?

1. Tv show marathons. Law & Order, CSI, Buffy, Dead Like Me, Maude (I’m loving Maude right now) – watching hours of a show at a time is the balm to 12 year old me who wanted to cry at the end of a show’s season because HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I WAIT ALL SUMMER TO FIND OUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?

2. Eating pizza as much as possible. Dear god I love pizza.

3. Running. I’m going to include this even though the vast majority of the time I feel far more entitled than I do guilty. And if I start out feeling guilty, I’m so over it by the end of a run. 12 minute miles today!

4. Making grocery lists at work. At work I can finish a thought. Its nice. And that makes it the perfect place to make grocery lists when I should be doing….something else.

If only these represented the sum total of my guilt, guilt would truly be pleasurable.

My total mileage goal this week is 8 miles, split up over three runs. I want to do two distance, and one tempo run because MAN OH MAN AM I SLOW. Which is fine. Its just that if that creepy guy in the jeans shirt riding his bike turns out to be a serial killer I want to be able to out run him. He rides slowly.

Lessons from last week! If your basement floods and your husband is working a lot of crazy hours it is hard to make running a priority but you MUST MAKE RUNNING A PRIORITY (silly girl). I got one run in then my parents saved the day and watched the girls on Sunday (and my mom lent me every stitch of running gear since I hadn’t brought any with me) so that i could get in a second run. I only got in 4 miles, but being able to say I only got in 4 miles feels good. I ran 4 miles last week. Hooray for me!

Goals for this week! Run on Tuesday (distance), Friday (distance) and Sunday (tempo) with some time to practice with the super fabulous double jogging stroller that should arrive this week.

Will update as the story unfolds.

(Update) Tuesday’s Run – 3.7 miles, with an estimated pace of 13 minutes/mile. This was a good run. Some days you feel like a ton of bricks but not this day. Until I hit the straight uphill second third of the run. And then I felt more like stopping. I told myself that I would still have to walk home so I might as well keep running. This was a run that made me feel proud when I was done and that’s an addictive feeling.

Our jogging stroller came, rather unexpectedly. It threw the whole house in to a tizzy. G was obsessed with helping her dad put it together to the point where I had to distract her with pudding. And then she cried pitifully when I tried to actually put her in it. Fortunately, she was happy to ride in it for a quick walk around the block this morning. M loves it and laughs when you put her in.

Will I be able to jog with it? We’ll see. 42 pounds of combined kid (plus the stroller itself) is heavy.

(Update) Thursday – 1.8 miles total (ran 1.5) with the jogging stroller. The girls seemed to like it. M chilled out and G must’ve been a million degrees because she insisted on having a blanket over her in the 85 degree heat.

Friday – 3.2 miles total. I ran around our block 4 times because I made the mistake (or not?) of looking at the sex offender registry for our area and now I know where all the rapists live. Near by as it turns out!

Sunday – 2.4 miles. This was my tempo run and I tried to run it at a 7 in terms of perceived effort. I think I hit a 6 or so. My average pace was a 12 minute mile, though, so I feel good!

Total miles – 11.1 (consider goal met!)

Pace – I think I average about 13 but I see I can hit a 12 if I try.

Zoom!

Okay, so I am going to play a little catch up because it has been so very long.

I have two babies now! G is almost two and a half (my professional training tells me that if a number is less than ten it should always be spelled out) and her little sister M is about to turn seven months.I don’t know how much I’m going to write/share about the girls. I love reading about the kids of others but I don’t know how I feel about sharing.

We’re down a cat but up a dog bringing our current total of furry evil to six. Don’t worry about kitty – she moved in with my parents because the Kitty Boys were picking on her. But she’ll probably be back soon.

See Kate run! I run now. Very slowly but it counts. In fact, I want to use this space to bore you to tears with run tracking .

But my primary reason to restart this old clunker is because there are some really cool blogs that I love to read and I hate that the relationship is one sided – I know all about their life in their words, but they know nothing of me beyond my comment.

Thrilling words! Let’s consider this post a bit of bookkeeping and not judge it.